Guacamole, You Saved My Life!

Late night. Overtime. Work = force x distance. Labor. I'm chasing the dragon of deadlines. Got too much to do! I'm wasting away, here at the computer. Unable to stand upright, I crawl on hands and knees to the kitchen, hoping for nourishment. But the kitchen is a mirage of food. Everything requires work, work, work. Payment in blood. There's nothing here to feed me, easily, quickly, before my body turns to dust.

What will I do to save myself? To save my husband? (He's obviously also at risk of perishing, sunk onto the floor from hours of playing Liberty City.)

The magic of guacamole answers my pleas!

Easiest Guacamole Ever
Yes, there are more complicated guacamole recipes out there, and they're delicious. But this magical fruit doesn't need much to become a filling, flavorful, healthy, and green meal.


2 organic avocados (3 if you want to keep some guacamole for burritos tomorrow night)
1/2 organic lime (1 whole lime if you use 3 avocados)
1 teaspoon garlic-chili sauce
1/8 teaspoon salt
black pepper

1) Cut avocados in half. Get rid of the pits. (Watch out for your thumbs.) And scoop the delicious green flesh into a bowl.
2) Squeeze the lime, then cut in half. (This will help you get more juice.) Squeeze the juice onto the avocados.
3) Toss in the remaining ingredients: garlic-chili sauce, salt, black pepper.
4) Cut with a fork and knife until in chunks, then mash with the fork until your desired consistency. (We like ours thick and a little chunky.)
5) Serve with organic tortilla chips!

Easy to make. Check!
Organic goodness--low levels of pesticides for you and for the Earth. Check!
Full of protein, monounsaturated fats (good fats), and no cholesterol. Check!
(Extra for another easy meal tomorrow night. Check!)

Meaner, leaner, greaner!
* Lower the calories and increase the fiber by overcooking green peas until they're mushy, then mashing with a potato masher, and adding (when cool) to the guacamole. It's tasty!
* Instead of the garlic-chili sauce, use organic salsa. No pesticides, and this will add tomatoes and onions to the guacamole.
* The thing I like about the garlic-chili sauce is that it lasts forever in the frig. So, I'm pretty much always ready to make this guacamole, as long as I've got two avocados. It lasts and lasts, which means you never throw it away (no waste going to the landfill). You can also use dried chili flakes (red pepper flakes) or hot sauce.
* Avocados are nature's little food storage units. Ripen them on the counter, then put them in the frig to halt the process. They stay good in the frig for several days.
* A teeny, itty-bitty bit of plastic wrap and a container that seals will keep your finished guacamole good until the next night.

Check out the nutritional information on avocados.

Coming soon!
THE SEQUEL: Guacamole Saves My Life Again, in Burrito Form!

Here are more pictures from the process.

Where Is Your Kitchen, Anyway? (And Where Have Your Hands Been, Mister?)

A few years ago I used to watch the Food Network ALL THE TIME. See, we were sort of getting it magically, for free. My husband and I moved into an apartment, and a few months later, all of a sudden, we were getting the Food Network. So I watched it constantly, trying to cram in as much food-lore as possible before Big Brother found out. I dosed out on food tv.

And while I learned some nifty things (how to slice and dice in super chique ways) ...

I also heard some seriously stupid advice being given ... like this:

FANCY PANTS CHEF: So then you take your soup while it's piping hot and pour into your storage containers and put immediately in the frig. You wouldn't want any bacteria getting into your "fancy-pants-chef-soup," would you? And this will keep the flavors fresh!

ME: What??? Well, aren't you a genius. NOT.

I mean are we so worried about bacteria nowadays? Where is your kitchen? Where have your hands been? Have you been cooking in Dr. Horrible's Secret Chem Lab? In the mole-man's underground lair?

Putting super hot foods into a plastic container. Bad. Heating the plastic releases toxins.

Putting super hot foods into the frig. Bad. It takes a lot of electrical energy to remove heat energy and make something cold. Adding hot foods to your frig warms up your frig's average temperature; and it can stay warm for hours, using up lots of extra electricity as it works to combat the heat. Meantime, the rest of your food has sat in a slightly warmer environment. Gack.

So, please, let us all collectively diss the Fancy Pants Chef who gives stupid advice! Wait for the hot steaming food to completely cool down to room temperature. Then, package in a plastic container (if you really want). But I say, leave the food in the cooled metal pot, and put in the frig.

I mean ... unless you like sour milk and green eggs and ham.